As I reflect on the last year, I can't help but go back to her birth story. The reason she is here...what brought her into this world. How tough but how magical it was! All the special moments that created this last year, none of them compare to that moment of pushing her into this world. So, hours before she was born this time last year...I'll share her birth story--our story.
"I contracted all night Christmas Eve, not being able to sleep. Woke up at 6am on Christmas morning; and began the day with major emotions. Went from our house, my parents house and Matt's parents house with contractions every 10-15 minutes but I just kept it to myself and went about our Christmas Day. At around 6pm we headed to the Laker Game to watch one of Kobes last games. I remember we had to park far; and walk far. During this 10 minute walk, I got 2 contractions which meant my contractions were about 5 minutes apart lasting around 30 seconds. I still decided to enjoy the night. We stood in the freezing cold, then got inside and sat at the very top. There I was 9 months pregnant, contracting, holding carne asada fries in my left hand, a big drink in my right and walking up a super steep round of stairs lol. As we're sitting there my contractions just kept coming--I stayed quiet. As we drove home; matt and I talked about her face and what she would look like; be liked...when would she decide to come?
We got home, I pooped, showered and after that shower; my contractions felt like waves. Every 2 minutes lasting a minute long. Matt didn't believe me. He thought I was messing around lol. Just hanging in the bed watching me on all fours.
After 2.5 hours of getting contractions every 2 minutes, 1 minute long--then progressing to every minute apart, lasting a minute long..I decided to go to the hospital. Lol.
We arrived at the hospital at 1am. I got checked in by 1:20am. In the triage I was checked, and I was 7.5 cm dilated, 90% effaced and Ma'lae was at a negative 3 station.
Going into the delivery room. I made it clear I did not want any pain medication. I didn't want to be in the bed and I was doing everything naturally.
My husband was my backbone during this time. I transitioned from 3 different spots naturally and went with my instincts. Swaying side to side bent over on the bed, squatting low and holding on to Matt's hands, and resting on my knees spread apart while matt rubbed on my back.
For an entire hour and thirty minutes this is what me and my husband did. My doula (sister) wasn't allowed in the room and she had my water, my diffuser and oils and was the other half of my labor team. Finally, they let her in... and at this point it was 3am. I got checked again; Baby was still high up at a -2, I was 100% effaced and 8.5 cm dilated. My water hadn't broken yet...and the nurse continue to pressure me into laying in the bed since I was considered high risk.
My team and my intuition continued to fight for what I wanted; saying NO to the bed and continuing to stay in active resting positions. Trusting my body. Trusting Ma'lae but I'll tell ya...at this point I was running on no sleep for a full 24 hours and I was exhausted. So many times I looked to my husband and said; "there's no way...there's absolutely no way." I looked to my sister and said, "I can't...I seriously can't." Both of them; reminded me how amazing I had been doing up until that point, how I was currently doing it and that we were RIGHT there to stay focused and to breathe.
So; here we are around 3:30am..the midwife wanted to check the position of Ma'lae to make sure she was okay. So they brought an ultrasound machine out to check and she was perfectly fine. However I had to seriously bring her down in order to push her out. So, my body naturally told me to just spread my legs, bend over on the bed and just move side to side.
So I did that; literally 45 minutes later all of a sudden you hear this burst and shot out of my butt lol. Matt starts crying. I freak out like what the heck was that. Everyone says; "your water broke!!" Only thing I remember hearing was my husband saying; "that's scared me, I didn't know what that was." He was so terrified for me thinking our baby bursted out of my vagina lol.
Whoo. So my water breaks. I'm at a 10. 100% effaced and baby girl is at a +4 station. Next thing ya know, at 415 I'm being plopped on the bed and begin to push.
All I know is it was 1 weak push, and then 2 strong fierce full on SCREAMING pushes for 10 seconds and the next thing I know I feel the ring of fire and Ma'lae Zyrai Austin was born at 4:28 am on December 26th, 2015.
2 weeks of random contractions at night, 24 hours of true pre labor & a total of 3 hours and 28 minutes of transition phase in the hospital; I had accomplished a drug free vaginal birth after having a c section with Mehki. It was everything I could of dreamed of, and she was perfect.
It was this experience that truly showed me how strong I am as a woman. But also, how I am absolutely weaker without the support of my husband. How I was made fearless in that moment through the love; physical touch and emotional support from him. How I was reminded that my body could do it by my sister. How she urged me to breathe..how she simply touched my forehead and made me breathe into that spot; telling me.."you are strong...you can do it." Over and over. How I set my mind to this moment and practiced it mentally everyday for 9 months and how I actually made it happen.
What a miracle. What a joy it is to choose the kind of birth you want. Until you can experience that kind of power; of choosing and knowing exactly what you want when it comes to entering into motherhood for the first, second or even third+ time...it's unexplainable.
I will forever replay this night in my head because it's when I truly realized my power. my voice as a mother, a woman..wife."
To Ma'lae you have been an amazing teacher. You really truly tested mommy in the beginning of our bond. You took a long time to sleep through the night. But reality is, God gave me a break when he gave me you. You are wild but so chill at the same time. You know what you want when you want it. You're rough like a boy and make vroom vroom sounds when playing with car toys. So loud but yet so soft & so sweet when you simply say Hi. You love your daddy. You love your brother. All three of us have had so much fun loving you for the last year. Learning every inch of you, and your personality. You're truly one of a kind and breathtakingly beautiful. I have no idea what the next few months will bring us but, I will say that this year has flown by and I do not want to rush any day that passes us from here on out. Happy Birthday baby girl!